I’m Not Gonna Lie
I don’t know when that phrase became a indispensable preamble to Facebook statuses and Starbucks chatter, but it’s just one of those bullshits phrases that distances you from anything you might say next. However, unlike phrases like “No offense, but…,” it isn’t ever followed by an opinion that matters or is controversial. At work last Sunday I asked the girl sitting next to me if she’d like a handful of my Peanut M&M’s. She looked at me in an uneasy way and said, “I’m not gonna lie, Peanut M&M’s sometimes make my mouth dry.” Why would you lie about that? All you have done now is convince me that you lie to such an extent you have to excuse yourself when you don’t lie. Also, what would’ve the lie been to get you out of not eating my Peanut M&M’s? “Sorry Peanut M&M’s molested my horse and burned down my house! So I’ll pass.” Just say, “no thanks,” and we’ll go about our day.
