I am fucked if my girlfriend ever leaves me
Last Friday my friend was talking to a girl in this local bar. She was a pretty, smart brunet with interesting anecdotes. So, apparently having been mistaken about the exact wording of the idiom my whole life, in trying to seem polite and cool I said, “well, aren’t you a WHALE of knowledge.” As soon as I said it aloud I realized it couldn’t be right, but there’s no way to save face at that point. If you admit to being mistaken about the saying, you look like an idiot. And you can’t very well make “a whale of knowledge” sound like a compliment: “yeah, you know, like a huge blubberous mass of insight. The Japanese hunt you for precious lamp oil. Because, as we all know, great ideas/epiphanies make lightbulbs work.”
I’m getting a vasectomy for the good of mankind.
