July 2011
4 posts
2 tags
Milk Story
I was born unto expectation. When my father (non-biologically speaking) met my mother (biologically speaking—I was all up in that womb) he was a mid-30s divorcee with two grown kids and a desire to spend his middle years free of the most resistant form of STD—children. I can’t say I blame him. In some ways kids are worse than a venereal disease. He never had to take herpes to see...
I have come to the decision that the next time Mormons come to my door and ask, “have you heard the word?” I am going to enthusiastically reply, “about the bird?”
After hours of scouring the internet I have come to a conclusion. The last vestiges of America the future alien explorers will find impressive is not our skyscrapers—they will have taller buildings—not our government—they will have a more advanced one—but they will bow to their knees in amazement and say, “these people found a way to jerk off to everything.”
